03/11/2015
Hey yall..just a little about me.
Im guessing you're here because the title of my blog grabbed your attention. I mean, who doesnt like the thought of a large full head of flowing hair, red pouty lips, and no panties on? Im not a lesbian or anything but that sounds pretty hot, even to me.
Actually, this blog is about a middle aged (is 34 middle aged? IS IT?? Can we make it not be?!) woman who recently moved from Arkansas with her family to Boynton Beach, Fl. I know what you are thinking.. SNOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRREEEEEEEEEE, right? Hardly. Ive been told by many that I should have my own reality show due to the things that actually happen to me or simply just so that someone can capture the things that come out of my mouth.
Oh yeah, about the title of the blog that sucked you in promising you porn.. I am a bit of a cliche when it comes to your fru fru southern woman. I like big hair that has been sprayed to perfection, I thank that red lipstick is the female equivalent to the power tie for men, and the no panties part.. well... the fact is I hate the damn things. Commando is the only way to go and I wont hear a word of argument about it. You people will never know the joy of a breezy spring day in a sundress the way I do. Thats right, hail to the oxygenated V, bitches. I guess we should leave it at that for now.
So again yes, I just moved to South Florida. I am about 20 minutes north of Boca Raton. OH MY GOD can we just stop and talk about Boca Raton?? Its all Maserati's, Bugatti's, Maybachs, and Lamborghini.. and thats just at the MALL! Well at the Mall if you consider Mizner Park a Mall. Any mall that contains a movie theater that pops open champagne for you during a screening of 50 Shades of Grey and has fathers piggy back riding their toddler princesses out of Dior, and Ice cream shops containing rainbow chandeliers is A-OK with me. Its also not a mall.. its heaven. It will remind us common folk that we are both fat AND poor compared the Boca population but still.. I cant help myself.. I love it.
I will be the first to admit that I am an individual unlike many even though so many things fit the typical mold of a southern woman. I feel as if I cant quite be the suburban step ford wife but I also cant quite pull off that whole stiletto wearing socialite thing. If you could combine the two and add in a sailors mouth, a stooges clumsiness, a martini shaker slinging expert, and a mom in the car rider drop off line, you would have the perfect picture of me. While creating this picture I simply ask that you imagine my hair big and fluffy with Taylor Swift red lips. Oh and for the love of God... please dont imagine me in underwear. Revolting.
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